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Journey of a Buttafly

the journey continues...

8/4/2017

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One of my favorite things to do is people-watch at coffee shops.  I sit and sip, quietly and curiously witness the gestures of lovers before or after a fight as they conceal greetings or gripes with glares, grins, and guffaws.  A mother scolds her child for being a child at inconvenient times.  People greet dogs with kindness before their owners.   Even "curious-er" are the actions and behaviors of folks on social media where we shrink behind screens to grow more of whatever lurks within us; brave, cowardly, intelligent, ignorant, curious....  

At times, I feel very clear in my position as social anthropologist.  Maybe as a writer, it is an intuitive thing.  As I craft "believable" characters, I study the nuances of humans and our behavior in social situations. Makes sense, right?  Recently, I have become most interested in watching the people who are watching me.  The "friends" and family with whom I am connected online who take the time to "Like" and "Love" my momentary headlines.  When I post (especially an accomplishment) on social media,  I am fortunate (and extremely grateful) to realize various forms of love, kind words, good energy, and support extended to me as I journey and process.  

Interestingly, though, there is the idea that I keep "finally arriving" to the great destination... SUCCESS!  (Whatever that means.)   To be honest, I am usually so busy with the work of what it takes to set and accomplish a goal, figure out  the next steps, or assess what I need for the climb, I often lose sight of the moments people applaud (or turn their lips up to) as some great fete.  Please make no mistake... Each step on this road to wherever I land has been taken with great humility, courage, prayer, and determination to continue DESPITE the unrelenting and insecure voices in my head.  When I can't beat those voices, I write about 'em. (hence the t-shirt).  Then, I grab a glass of something delicious and red, or nibble a small square of some savory dark chocolate decadence, and I remind myself that there is no landing; there is only the journey.  It is long and it will challenge everything I believed about myself. And it is beautiful and worth it.  

I am grateful for the stamina and strength that I have gained from the process and the things that I have learned about myself and the world, from the process.  But, dear friends, it is a process.  And I am still in it.  (Jenifer Lewis... I'm still holding the line!)

Thank you for the fuel of your Love.  I Am because We Are.  
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